What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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