so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
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I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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