I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
