yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
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just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
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After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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