they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap