Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.