dude i'm inner monologue high
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing