I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
