i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
