While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
