Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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