I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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