I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
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Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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