How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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