She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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