We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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