Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
