I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
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Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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