No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
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we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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