my soul wont recognize me after tonight
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"