If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea