I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..