did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Come see our sink grown plant.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship