Only a mothe r could love this liver
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
