4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
