that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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