Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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