I hope mine doesn't look like that
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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