how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
