My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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