Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
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Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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