is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator