I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
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you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
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If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.