I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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