dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He shit in the fireplace
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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