There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
