Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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