Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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