the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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