this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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