What did we do last night that was yellow?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
