please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize