My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties