My first STD was from a foam party
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon