the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
