One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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