I can text with my tongue
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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