I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
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He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
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In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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