I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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