yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
