i was rollin on her like bob the builder
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
