at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize