ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
