I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.