i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Canadian or clown?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.