if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Operation Purity has been aborted
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off