i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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