And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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