Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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