Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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